Where We Are

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In a few weeks, it will have been a year since I got divorced. There are still some days I struggle with it, and I've learned that that is okay. The life Cameron and I live now is very different than the life we were living then. Accepting and adapting to our new life was not something that could have happened overnight, or even a few months. It took months, but I no longer look at families together and think of my broken dream. Instead, I think "that will happen for us one day". The days that I struggle are very rare now. Being divorced does not define me. Actually, people I meet are usually surprised to hear that I was ever married.

Being a single (and obviously working) mom is hard. Being a single mom who is also a student is harder. There are days I wish for an extra set of hands and eyes to play with and watch Cam so I can start homework a few hours earlier. But they aren't there. I have no family where I live, and my parents live an hour away. It's just me here. For the past 3 or 4 months, I used that as an excuse. I played the victim, even to myself. I claimed there just wasn't time to do homework. I was tired after I got home from work, and after Cam went to bed. Blah, blah, blah. It was all excuses. Excuses to be lazy and pity myself. I had a wake up call recently when I was put on academic probation. School starts again on Monday, and I am more than ready to focus on finishing my degree. It is so easy to lose focus with everything that goes on in life. I just keep envisioning myself walking up there to receive my degree. Only 22 more months!

There is one last thing I will just barely touch on in this post - dating. Oh, dating. Meeting genuine people is so, impossibly hard. I've been hurt more times than I care to admit this year. Thank God for my friends. They keep me going with their "don't give up" and "you're better off" speeches. You know what? They have always been right so far.

All in all, we are in a good place right now.